The Best Thing I Never Had
by BensidyLove
Summary: One-shot based off the song Best Thing I Never Had. Elliot shows up to Olivia's apartment expecting forgiveness. However, he has another thing coming. Mainly EO, with a little Bensidy in it


**Quick little one-shot on how I think Olivia would react if Elliot decided to come back now. It's mostly EO talking, but I did throw some Bensidy in there. Lyrics are from Best Thing I Never Had hence the title. Reviews are nice. :) I own nothing.**

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_I wanted you bad_

_I'm so through with that_

_Cause honestly you turned out to be the best thing I never had_

_I said, you turned out to be the best thing I never had_

_And I'll never be the best thing you never had_

_Oh baby I bet sucks to be you right now_

Olivia was in the kitchen starting on dinner while Brian was in the shower. It was the first time in a week they both were off work at the same time. Olivia had recently started going back to work after being on maternity leave for four months. It killed her to leave her little bundle of joy every morning.

She had just put the lasagna in the oven when there was a knock at the door. She had no idea who it could be since no one said they were coming over. She walked over to the door and almost died when she saw who was standing there. Her heart dropped to her stomach and her throat became dry.

Elliot fucking Stabler was standing outside her apartment. After four years of not speaking or seeing him, he was there. But how? She moved from old apartment, so there was no way he would know where she lived—she was talking about Elliot. As much as it creeped her out, he probably had been keeping up with her all these years.

She was brought out of her thoughts when he knocked again. "Liv. I know you're in there."

Why now? She thought. She was happy, she had finally _moved on._ This was the last thing she needed right now. She mentally prepared herself for whatever was about to happen, then she opened the door.

Elliot looked up from the ground and smiled a little when he saw her. He could tell she lost weight or was toning up, and she cut her hair again. "Hey."

"If someone isn't dying, I don't have anything to say to you." She spat. How dare he just waltz in here like it hadn't been four years she they last spoken to each other.

He sighed. He knew she was going to be upset, but he didn't still think she would be angry after all this time. "I just wanted to talk."

"About how you haven't fucking talked to me in _four _years? How you ignored me for six months before you changed your number? I _used_ to have so much to say to you, but you're not worth it." She tried to close the door, but he stuck his foot out.

"Olivia," he pleaded. "Please hear me out."

She sighed. It was something in his voice that convinced her to let him come in. "You have three minutes." She allowed him to step in the apartment.

He looked around and was shocked at how homey the place look. It actually looked like someone lived here.

"How did you even find me?" She asked breaking him out of his trance.

He chuckled nervously. "The same way the perps did." He then realized his choice of words. He heard about her attack on the news, and wanted to reach out to her, but like him, she changed her number too. "Sorry."

She rolled her eyes and crossed her arms against her chance. "Whatever. You wanted to talk, so talk."

Before he could speak, Brian came out the bedroom with a towel wrapped around his waist. "Hey, baby, my mom..." He stopped in his tracks when he saw Elliot standing in the middle of the living room. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"Cassidy? You're sleeping with him again?"

"Slept, engaged, got knocked up, but don't worry about her." Brian stepped closer. "Why are you in my house?"

"Bri, I let him in. He said he wanted to talk, so I gave him three minutes. However, he's used two of them already."

Brian shook his head and didn't say a word. He walked back into the bedroom and slammed the door behind him.

"Don't you dare stand there and try to judge my life, Elliot. Start fucking talking or get the hell out."

"I'm sorry."

"You could have saved that shitty apology." She walked back in the kitchen to check on dinner.

"Olivia, listen to me. I never meant to hurt you. How could I face you after the shooting?"

"The same way you did after all your other shootings. Did you really think _me_ out of all people would judge you? You were my partner, my best friend, hell Elliot, you were my life." She ran her fingers through her hair and smiled to keep from cry. "And you left. Just like that. 12 years and I didn't get a good bye. You didn't even have the balls to tell me personally that you were turning your papers in."

Elliot plopped down on the couch and realized that Olivia was more hurt than him. She was right. He _was_ the only stability in her life. "This was a waste of time. For some reason, I thought you would be welcoming me with open arms. You've obviously moved on, so I guess I need to do the same. Just remember that I never stopped loving you Olivia, and I never will."

"Elliot, you would always have a place in my heart. It may not be as big as it once was, but you'll always have a place. I found the good in your departure. I was in relationships, because you weren't a jerk to my dates or convinced me I could do better. I spent more time focusing on what made Olivia happy instead of what made Olivia _and_ Elliot happy. God, I started doing things that I knew you would have judged me for. Oh, and my new partner, he hates Brian, and they have their reasons, but not _once_ has he came in between us. See, you tried to have your cake and eat it too. I played into because I was that in love with you."

"Olivia—"

"No, listen. After four years, you start realizing things. You were an asshole, Elliot to everyone. If you could bring up the fact that I was childless or single, you did. Those were my two weaknesses and you knew that. I like to think of myself as a pretty confident person, but when you would say those words to me, it was my childhood all over again."

He rubbed his face as he thought of all their arguments. How he was always the one to throw a low blow first. He never knew she had felt this way. "Why didn't you say anything?"

"You know me well enough to know I don't talk about my feelings." She joined him on the couch.

"Olivia, I couldn't tell you why I said those things."

"I can. You were never happy at home. No matter how hard you tried to hide it, I knew. You needed someone to hurt as much as you. I was always your punching bag. I always had your back. I was always there for you. It was _me._ Not your siblings, not your mom, not your wife, but me. I took everything you gave me and stayed. I thought that after all I did for you, I deserved a proper goodbye."

"Oh, c'mon, Liv. You left too, twice."

"You knew where I was!" She broke. "You knew that I was alive and well. You knew I hadn't gone off the deep end and ate my gun. That's the difference between you and me." All control over her emotions had flown out the window.

"And you think that was easy for me?" He said above a whisper. "I was losing people left and right."

She smirked. "You never know what you had until it's gone. You push and push until people have no choice but to leave you. Don't try and be the victim here because I will not feel bad for you. You don't know half of what I went through after you left."

He shook his head and got up. This was far from what he expected. He was frustrated, but he had no right. This was all his fault. "You seem so fucking happy without me, why don't I just go." He said more as a statement. She had changed, and he didn't blame her. He fucked up, and he would never get her back.

"I am. I have an amazing fiance and a perfect son. I have a life outside the precinct. You can go, but don't ever come back. I don't want anything to do with you anymore. You had your chance and blew it." She got up and walked over to the door. "I wish the best for you, Elliot, I do. Just not in my life." She opened the door.

"Bye, Olivia." He gave her one last look before he left her life. This time forever.

She closed the door and took a deep breath to try to compose herself.

Brian walked out the bedroom and wrapped his arms around her. "I love you. You're an amazing woman, Olivia."

She buried her face into his chest and let the tears fall. She didn't really know why she was crying. Maybe it was because she finally got the closure that she needed, or that she was still secretly hurt by Elliot's actions. It didn't matter at this point because she had the life she wanted. "I love you."

They embraced each other for a few more minutes before the oven timer went off, and BJ begin to cry. They both chuckled.

Brian kissed her forehead. "I got dinner, and you can get him."

Olivia nodded and broke away from him. She walked towards her son's bedroom. After 37 hours of labor, she was finally able to call herself and a mother, and no one could take that away from her. "Hi, baby." She cooed and picked up her four month old son. Despite being a junior, BJ was all Olivia and only had Brian's eyes.

"Someone wants dinner, don't they?" Olivia bounced a little as she walked back into the living room area. "Bri, I'm going to feed him. Can you finish dinner?"

"No problem, baby."

She smiled and sat on the couch. As soon as Olivia pulled her breast out, BJ cries silenced and he turned his head to her nipple. Olivia couldn't help but to laugh a little when she felt him latch onto her breast. "You take after your father with that." Olivia hadn't always planned to breastfeed, but her son left her with no choice. From the first night they brought him home, it was like love at her first sight. Her and Brian joked that BJ was definitely going to be a ladies' man.

Brian had finished dinner and set the table. He sat next to Olivia on the couch while the food cooled. He loved to watch Olivia interact with his son. It made his heart swell. "Hey, Liv. I know it took a lot for you to say what you had to say tonight. I'm really proud of you. Elliot's an ass and he doesn't deserve. I'm so glad he screwed up. I love you."

"You're the only one I want to be with, Bri."

Elliot sat in his car, outside Olivia's apartment building. As much as it killed him, he had to let her go. She was happy and he needed to be happy for her. He wished he had noticed her feelings earlier and hadn't left her life like he did. He couldn't change the past, though. He just prayed that she would continue having a happy life.

Olivia couldn't sleep no matter how hard she tried. The encounter with Elliot was still on her mind. She wondered how different her life would be if he actually stuck around. She looked to the left of her to see Brian sleeping peacefully. He had put up with so much and she loved him for that. She grabbed her phone and decided to send Elliot an email. One that explained her true feelings in a way she hoped he would understand. However, we should pulled up the blank document, nothing came to mind but one thing.

_Thank you. I needed this closure. Have a good life, Elliot._

She sent the email, locked her phone, and curled into Brian's side. She had never felt so content in her life. Now that her mind was cleared, sleep came easily.

_Thank God you blew it  
I thank God I dodged the bullet  
I'm so over you  
So baby good lookin' out_


End file.
